A few lines that I have read recently that have made me smile:
I was reading a book on helium. I couldn't' put it down.
People say, "It's always the last place you look." Of course it is. Why would you keep looking after you've found it?
A journey of a thousand miles begins with running back in the house for something you forgot. (This is so me! I turn around often to make sure I put the garage door down).
The part of the baseball game I most identify with is the umpire neurotically dusting home plate after the players mess it up.
I went to Macy's to buy something. As i pulled out my parking ticket, I asked the lady behind the counter to validate me. She hugged me and said, "You're a good person."
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