I think this is a great book! How in the world do I narrow this post to a few quotes from the book? There are so many excellent points made by Dr. Levine.

America’s newly identified at-risk group is preteens and teens from affluent, well-educated families.  In spite of their economic and social advantages, they experience among the highest rates of depression, substance abuse, anxiety disorders, somatic complaints, and unhappiness of any group of children in this country (pg. 17).

Affluent kids are often so protected from even the most minor disappointments and frustrations that they are unable to develop critical coping skills (pg. 77).

The child who is constantly admired for a particular skill frequently becomes less interested in trying out new things. Children begin to play it safe and lose their willingness to experiment and challenge themselves (pg. 143).

Affluent parents, who are relatively free form the concerns of sustaining their household economically, have more psychological space; they can “afford” to spend more time worrying about their children’s performances and sizing up the competition. Higher-income families also typically have fewer children, giving parents more time to obsess about the details of each child’s life and to devote time, energy, and money to polishing their “star” qualities. In spite of good intentions, the levels of adult overinvolvement that have become typical in so many comfortable homes and communities are startling and counterproductive. We seem to believe that if involvement is good, then over-involvement must be better (pgs. 137,138).

Autonomy, what we commonly call independence, along with competence and interpersonal relationships, are considered to be inborn human needs (pg. 8).

Parents need to reinforce with their children the reality that it is not external things that help them to handle difficult feelings; rather, it is the development of internal resources that provide a safety net when they are struggling. Helping your child understand and manage her distressing feelings, and finding ways to cope with them, are life-long gifts (pg. 51). We want to avoid training our children to believe that it is external rewards that are responsible for personal happiness (pg. 53).

By allowing them to get occasionally bruised in childhood we are helping to make certain that they don’t get broken in adolescence. And allowing them their failures in adolescence, we are helping to lay the groundwork for success in adulthood (pg. 79).

For the past twenty years we have had at least one teen in the house.  Oh teenagers, what a ride!  They can be emotional and they also bring out a variety of emotions in their parents.  They can be frustrating and perplexing, but oh, how enjoyable.  I love their energy and enthusiasm.  I love how they enjoy being together and make any activity fun.  I love hearing them talk and laugh with each other.  I think the two things I enjoyed most about our teens was talking with them one on one, and watching them grow and develop.

Charles L. Allen said this about parenting teens, 
"Parents of teens would make great tightrope artists--we've had so much practice.  We are always walking that fine line between too far away and too close.  We must never be snoopy but always interested, neither square nor too hip.  We should blend in with the scenery but stand firm as a rock when needed--which is oftener than we may think."

I like what Mr. Allen said.  I thank the Lord for the chance I have to be a mother.  During those teenage years when our children were growing and developing, I was growing and learning too.

A note to myself on parenting from an excellent book titled, "The Blessing of a B Minus" by Wendy Mogel:

Teenagers' problems can catch fire, flare spectacularly, and then fizzle out just as quickly.  Demonstrate empathy while avoiding entanglement in their disappointments.  Be curious and kind, but unalarmed.  If you are asked for help directly, use leading questions that suggest your faith in her ability to mobilize her resources.  Do your best to let the teen provide the answers on her own.  Many of the problems that trouble parents of teenagers will resolve themselves if you simply demonstrate confidence that your teen can handle them. By practicing respectful detachment, we are allowing teenagers a basic human right--to learn from their mistakes while they are still at home and before they set out for the wider world.

Our challenge as parents is to foster a loving attachment to tennagers' large spirits and ragged souls but stand slightly apart from their daily theatrics.  Remind yourself, daily if you have to, that we serve our teens best not as active protectors or problem solvers but as tender, compassionate, composed listeners.  If we give our children what they want (a servant), instead of what they need (wise counsel), we undermine their strength and create dependency.

(pgs. 101, 104, 112, 113)

I have got to watch myself on this.  The author makes it sound simple, but sometimes it is not.  I will hear of a situation and want to jump in and help solve it, but I must stay back, be "unalarmed", listen, express confidence in the teen to solve it, and then not stew about it.  Ha, easier said than done.