Journal entry, June 2025:

I have never relied on the Atonement more than this week! We are facing the impossible and we are doing the best we can. God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost and angels on both side of the veil are helping us. I accomplish three things and five are added to my list. There are forms to fill out, boxes to pack, mountains of things to read, lessons for the MTC to prepare, and on and on. I am so tired! I haven't been sleeping well. Friends and family are being very supportive. I realize what an encouraging quote, prayer, text, or hug means. I pray for strength, a good attitude, faith and patience. It will be a miracle if we can pull this off! (We were blessed to make it to the MTC twelve days after being called).

Journal entry, June 2026:

This mission provides time for reflection and repentance. A cleansing and rebuilding can take place if I allow it. My flaws and weaknesses are more evident, and I have come to realize more fully my dependence on the Savior. This is a good time for me to step back and really think about who I am and where I am headed or turned. Where is my head and where is my heart? Do I tell the people in my life who mean the most to me that I love them? Do I reach out with love and concern? Am I selfish? Am I proud? Am I negligent of things I should be doing? Are the most important things and people getting the most time? What does God really mean to me? Am I able to sacrifice everything for Him and the gospel?

 

We pulled away from our house on Sunday afternoon and I shed a few tears. I asked my husband, "Is it okay to love a house?" He said it was okay to love a house, as long as I loved God more. I do love my house, and I do love God more.

I knew I would be emotional saying goodbye to friends and family, but my grief  regarding the house surprised me.

I love the house on Loridan Lane because it is where we lived for a while with all five children at home. It is where we studied the scriptures together, had family nights, enjoyed countless meals, welcomed friends and group date nights, planted a garden, worked together, practiced musical instruments, studied homework, laughed, cried, and loved. A house can become a sacred place. It is sacred to me because I have grown my testimony in this house and felt the Spirit.  

I am grateful for a house that shielded me from rain and wind. Many times I laid in bed listening to the howling wind, thinking about the pioneers on the open plain with no shelter, and I whispered prayers of gratitude for strong walls and a protective roof. Similarly, our house shielded us from the wickedness of the world. It is where we fortified our testimonies and became more spiritually reliant.

I will miss this house! I am grateful for the renters we have and the conscientious way that they care for homes. I cherish the memories made in this home and plan to make more in the years following our mission. 

What a pleasure it was to attend General Conference this past weekend! We met wonderful people from around the world and were uplifted and strengthened.

I understand that as soon as conference finished, or maybe as it was going, individuals started to critique the talks. I am not a part of that. I stand with the prophet and the other General Authorities.  I listen to conference not to find fault, or something to debate, but I listen for ways that I can improve. General Conference provides instruction for those who seek to elevate their discipleship. I loved each of the speakers and I sustain them.

A few thoughts from my conference journal:

Each of us has a role.  What is my role?

Pay no attention to secular scoffing. The Lord is on our side!

The great and spacious building is empty.

An unseen power will aide you.  Press on! Hold fast! Heed not!

Love generously.

Lord, I give you everything.

How do we know our heart is changing? When we want to please God in all things.

Accept His will in place of our own.

God is a God of miracles. Trust God's wisdom and promises. Seek and expect miracles!

In times of trouble, turn to Jesus Christ right away.

Boss your brain.  Do what matters. Give God a fair share of your time.

We do not demand revelation, but wait upon the Lord.

Am I asking? Am I seeking?

In the midst of the refiner's fire, do not get angry with God. Get close to God.

Go forth and change.

Assume accountability for the condition of your heart.

Share what you love about the gospel.

Bury inclinations to hurt others.

End personal conflicts.

Discover the joy of daily repentance.

Learn about God and how He works.

Forgive and seek forgiveness.

Progress on the covenant path with increased momentum.

Be faithful, not fearful.

This is a picture of Edward Partridge (1793-1840). Edward was the first bishop of the restored Church of Jesus Christ. When Edward joined the Church, his father's family rejected him. He had a firm testimony and was willing to sacrifice his own property, and then he endured extreme poverty with his family.  He was tarred and feathered, persecuted, and imprisoned for his faith. He remained faithful through all of the hardships, even though other Church leaders dissented. Bishop Partridge is a hero of mine. He said:

"Since I have torn my affections from this world's goods; from the vanities and toys of time and sense, and been willing to love and serve God with all my heart, and be led by his holy Spirit, my mind has been as it were continually expanding--receiving the things of God, until glories indescribable present themselves before me." (Liahona, April 2021)

He gave up a lot but he received glorious blessings in return for his faithfulness and sacrifices.

 

At the April 2016 General Conference, Elder Hallstrom quoted Elder Holland:  

"You can have what you want, or you can have something better."

I have come to know that Satan offers temporary pleasure and counterfeit happiness. The Lord offers lasting joy and peace.

The natural man seeks to find things that satisfy the appetite now, while the commandments teach us to bridle our desires and to be "temperate in all things".

As a 13 year old, I thought the commandments kept me from being happy but I had a wonderful Sunday School teacher, Sister Pruett, who explained that the commandments shelter us from the unpleasant consequences of sin.  She took the time to teach us that  by keeping the commandments we are entitled to rich blessings and freedom. I remember her lessons and the spirit I felt while she was teaching.  I remember that gospel principles became clear as she explained them.  I am grateful for her.