I met a dear woman last weekend whose home was wiped out last year in a typhoon. The Church helped to build her a small, temporary home (looks like a lawnmower shed), and she cooks outside, which reminds me of camping. And yet, she is creative. She cuts up plastic water bottles and soda bottles to make flowers. She also uses different colored straws to create tiny, detailed flowers. I admire the way she uses the items that people throw away to make art. Her generosity in handing me the flowers she had worked so hard to create touched me. She had paint on her hands and on her shorts, and a smile on her face. We have been told about the resiliency of the Filipino people, and she is an example of that trait.

 

Here are some of the ways the Holy Ghost helps me:

He bears record of God the Father and Jesus Christ,
Brings truth and experiences to my remembrance,
Carries truth to my heart,
Cheers,
Confirms truth,
Comforts,
Converts,
Corrects,
Edifies,
Enhances my skills and abilities,
Enlightens,
Gives me courage,
Give me confidence,
Gives me ideas,
Guides,
Helps me choose the right,
Helps me remember my blessings and what God has done for me,
Helps me discern,
Hols me back,
Inspires,
Instructs,
Leads me to the Father,
Leads me to do good,
Opens,
Protects,
Reassures,
Replaces darkness with light,
Reveals,
Sanctifies,
Sustains,
Teaches,
Tells me what to do,
Testifies,
Urges forward, and
Warns.

As I read through this list I am filled with awe and appreciation.

 

Notice the helmet on Goliath's head, his heavy coat of metal, the brass on his legs, and the spear and sword which he carried. There was one bearing a shield who went before him.

Goliath stood and cried unto the armies of Israel, "Choose you a man for you and let him come down to me." When Israel heard Goliath shout, they were greatly afraid. 

David heard Goliath yelling and asked, "Who is this Philistine that defies the armies of the living God? I will go and fight this Philistine." King Saul worried, saying, "Thou art not able to go. Thou art but a youth."

David answered him, "When I was keeping sheep, there came a lion and a bear and I went after them. The Lord that delivered me out of the paw of the lion, and out of the paw of the bear, he will deliver me out of the hand of this Philistine."

David spoke with courage and faith to Goliath: "Thou comest to me with a sword and with a spear and with a shield, but I come to thee in the name of the Lord of hosts. This day will the Lord deliver thee into mine hand. The battle is the Lord's." David's greatest weapon was his faith in the Lord.

We will not retreat though our numbers may be few when compared with the opposite host in view. But an unseen power will aid me and you in the glorious cause of truth. Fear not though the enemy derides. Courage, for the Lord is on our side ("Let Us All Press On" by Evan Stephens).

Ammon states in Alma 26: "Yea, I know that I am nothing; as to my strength I am weak; therefore, I will not boast of myself, but I will boast of my God, for in his strength I can do all things.

"You can do hard with Jesus Christ, or you can do hard alone. When you do hard with Jesus Christ, the hard becomes holy" (Camille Johnson, General Relief Society President).

The Lord is my strength and my shield; my heart trusted in him, and I am helped (Psalm 28:7).

This week I read about Samuel traveling to the home of Jesse with a horn of oil. The Lord said unto Samuel, "Look not on his countenance, or on the height of his stature because I have refused him; for the Lord seeth not as man seeth; for man looketh on the outward appearance but the Lord looketh on the heart" (1 Samuel 16:7).

Samuel met the seven elder sons of Jesse and then asked Jesse, "Are here all thy children?" When David was brought in from keeping the sheep, the Lord told Samuel, "Arise, anoint him: for this is he."

The line "The Lord looketh on the heart" intrigued me, which led to study this week on the condition of the heart.

I learned that hearts can be removed far from God (Isaiah 29:13) or set upon treasures, or the things of the world (2 Nephi 9:30, Doctrine and Covenants 121:35). People are sometimes puffed up in the pride of their hearts (2 Nephi 28:15). Hearts can be hardened, proud, and turned (2 Nephi 33:2, Doctrine and Covenants 42:40, Abraham 1:7). Not surprisingly, Satan desires to get hold of our hearts (4 Nephi 1:28).

Shall not God search this out? For he knoweth the secrets of the heart (Psalm 44:21, Rev. 2:23, Luke 16:15). 

Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might (Deut. 6:5). God asks us to have clean hands and a pure heart (Psalm 24:4). We are invited to cast away our transgressions and make a new heart and a new spirit (Ezekiel 18:31). Zion is the pure heart, and the Savior specifically mentions "Blessed are the pure in heart" (Doctrine and Covenants 97:21, Matthew 5:8). The prophet Alma explains that it is Christ that changes our hearts, and Alma invites us to plant a seed in our hearts (Alma 5:7, 32:28). We are invited to have our hearts full and drawn out in prayer unto him, and to offer a broken heart and a contrite spirit as a sacrifice unto the Lord (Alma 34:27, 3 Nephi 9:20). Come unto the Lord will all your heart (Mormon 9:27). See that ye serve him with all your heart (Doctrine and Covenants 4:2). Let thine heart be softened (Doctrine and Covenants 121:4). In summary the Lord states, "I the Lord require the hearts of the children of men (Doctrine and Covenants 64:22).

It is not enough to be where I am supposed to be, or do what I am supposed to be doing. My heart must be there too. I want to be completely in. I desire to offer the Lord my heart--all my affection, my attention, my desires, and my love.

Journal entry, June 2025:

I have never relied on the Atonement more than this week! We are facing the impossible and we are doing the best we can. God the Father, Jesus Christ, the Holy Ghost and angels on both side of the veil are helping us. I accomplish three things and five are added to my list. There are forms to fill out, boxes to pack, mountains of things to read, lessons for the MTC to prepare, and on and on. I am so tired! I haven't been sleeping well. Friends and family are being very supportive. I realize what an encouraging quote, prayer, text, or hug means. I pray for strength, a good attitude, faith and patience. It will be a miracle if we can pull this off! (We were blessed to make it to the MTC twelve days after being called).

Journal entry, June 2026:

This mission provides time for reflection and repentance. A cleansing and rebuilding can take place if I allow it. My flaws and weaknesses are more evident, and I have come to realize more fully my dependence on the Savior. This is a good time for me to step back and really think about who I am and where I am headed or turned. Where is my head and where is my heart? Do I tell the people in my life who mean the most to me that I love them? Do I reach out with love and concern? Am I selfish? Am I proud? Am I negligent of things I should be doing? Are the most important things and people getting the most time? What does God really mean to me? Am I able to sacrifice everything for Him and the gospel?

 

In April 2017, Rabbi Sacks presented a TED Talk titled, "Facing the Future Without Fear, Together."  He made many excellent points, including:

What do we worship? I think future anthropologists will take a look at the books we read on self-help, self-realisation, self-esteem. They’ll look at the way we talk about morality as being true to one’s self, the way we talk about politics as a matter of individual rights, and they’ll look at this wonderful new religious ritual we have created, you know the one called the selfie. I think they’ll conclude that what we worship in our time is the self, the ‘me’, the ‘I’.

This is great. It’s liberating. It’s empowering. It’s wonderful. But don’t forget that biologically we’re social animals. We spent most of our evolutionary history in small groups. We need those face to face interactions where we learn the choreography of altruism and where we create those spiritual goods like friendship, and trust, and loyalty, and love that redeem our solitude. When we have too much of the I and too little of the we, we can find ourselves vulnerable, fearful, and alone.

Every time we hold out the hand of friendship to somebody not like us whose colour, or class, or creed are different from ours, we heal one of the fractures of our wounded world. That is the us of relationship.

This is the song that I listened to over and over while walking early this morning (Coldplay--"Moon Music"). As you listen to this piece, I think you will see why it blended in with my feelings of peace as the sun rose.

Happiness is three different zone conference choirs at three different days of multi-zone conferences. These pictures were taken while the choirs were rehearsing. First a piece has to be chosen, and then an instrumentalist is asked to accompany the choir (one instrumentalist for each day/location), and then a group of vocalists is chosen (out of the many volunteers) to sing one verse together before the choir joins in. The numbers amazingly come together in short rehearsals before each zone conference begins. these are not stellar, polished, four-part numbers, but they are beautiful nonetheless.

The missionaries love to perform and be a part of things and I love to hear them sing!

 

Today I cried and that is not usual for me. I try so hard to be brave and not think about what or who I miss, but today homesickness hit and I let the tears come, at least for a few minutes. It all started with lunch. After the branch conference I was handed a carton of lunch. Three very kind ladies made lunch for everyone in the branch, and I appreciate their generosity and service. In the lunch there was a large portion of rice, a meat and vegetable dish, and some kind of sauce in a baggie. I thought the sauce was some kind of gravy to pour on the rice, and as I began to open the baggie, a missionary whispered, "Sister Clarke, don't open that. You don't want to eat that." I asked, "Why? What is it?" The missionary answered, "Pig's blood." I did not open the baggie. I ate a little rice and a few bites of the meat and vegetable dish and then I shut the carton lid. Oh, I should mention that no utensils were handed out. A few people were given hand baggies to eat their food with, but then the baggies ran out so people were eating with their bare hands. 

Then before leaving the chapel, I needed to use the CR (comfort room is what they call a restroom here). I always put off using the CR because the condition of the bathrooms is really disappointing. Sure enough there was no soap, not even a sink, no toilet paper, and the bathroom was very dirty.

When we started the drive home, I began to think of family members I missed at home and a wave of homesickness hit. I thought, "I don't want to be here with pig's blood and dirty bathrooms! I am a lady! I am not used to living like this! I would really like to be with my children on Mother's Day!" The tears fell for about five minutes and then I pulled myself together. It is important for me to stay focused on the blessings of serving here and the beauty found in the people and the country. As is the case with any endeavor, you find what you are looking for. If I focus on all that I miss, I will be miserable, but if I focus on the blessings of being here, I will find happiness. When we arrived home a couple of hours later, I purposefully kicked myself out the door to visit the female senior missionaries and wish them a happy Mother's Day. 

I must not think inward, but outward. This is all good for me and I am experiencing and learning a lot.

"Joseph Smith's First Prayer" is a beautiful hymn and this is a marvelous arrangement of it. The pianist is exceptional as is the blend, dynamics, and emotion of the BYU Women's Choir. The fourth verse is my favorite.