Me Thinks

 

This book provided many listening techniques, many of which I found to be very helpful. For example:

In teaching how to listen, I instruct people how to respond to criticism, one of the most difficult parts of listening. I urge them not to deny any form of criticism.  If you respond with critical comments, that is just doing what they are doing. I also urge them not to get defensive of counterattack. When criticized, you can assertively cope by offering no resistance or hard psychological striking surfaces to critical statements thrown at you (pg. 57).

The more you are aware of the emotion, the more you can determine how you will act or behave. Acting out occurs when you feel driven to do something, but you do not know why. There is less acting out if you stay in touch with the emotion. Acting out is having your emotions drive your behavior. When you are not aware of your emotions, there is a greater chance that you will act on those unfelt emotions (pg. 51).

I believe that one should listen first and witness second.  Listening builds rapport and trust (pg. 8). The greatest gift you can give your children is to pay attention to them and listen intently (pg. 9). Being an effective listener is one of the greatest gifts you can ever give to another (pg. 10).

I’m not sure about what I just heard, but I would like to check something out with you…
I’m wondering if…
It seems to me that…
Tentative language always uses “I” for the subject of inference, not “you” as a direct address (pg. 99).