Me Thinks

(An email that I sent this week to my family)

Dear family,

This report is certainly delayed because term 3 was completed back in November, and yet I am just reporting to you now. I have four months of the program left and I am excited to be finished, and yet I am enjoying every bit of the learning! 

The assigned books have all been instructive. I have four assigned books I am reading now, but our teacher will also "count" hours of reading other books that are beneficial for my spiritual progression, so I am able to count any spiritual study towards my hours, which is great. I have not minded reading the assigned books, nor have I begrudged the written assignments. I am not only learning facts and methods, but I am stretching emotionally and spiritually.

One of the things we have learned is to allow people we are visiting with to "sit" in/with their emotions.  Whatever it is that a person is feeling is acceptable. We should not tell people not to feel that way nor try to rush them along, even if it is a "negative" emotion. "To feel is to heal," so the concept goes.  Get it out, talk about it, lean into it, work through it, and then you will be able to move on from it.  As I have learned this concept, I have realized what a poor job I did as a mother in this regard.  I am absolutely sure that when one of you had a negative emotion during your childhood years, that I tried to distract you from feeling it or I tried to rush you along.  Of course, I thought I was helping you, but I should have let you sit and be sad for a while, or angry, or whatever. There is a large amount of introspection in this course and I have realized many mistakes I have made in the past along with much I need to currently work on.

Of course, the highlight of the course has been the people I have met, both the hospice patients and the residents of Sunrise Assisted Living. I have been visiting some patients weekly now since March, which means I have come to know them and love them! It is really sad for me when they pass away, but I have to learn to deal with that, as there will be many goodbyes. I have found that attending their funerals when possible helps me with the closure process, as well as writing in my journal detailing the things I learned from them. Sometimes I have a chance to say goodbye, and other times I do not. Those patients who are afflicted with severe physical limitations or dementia are blessed to pass on, in my opinion. I could go on and on about the people I visit with, but I will spare you the lengthy details.

Overall, I hope that this course has helped me to become a more compassionate, less judgmental, kinder, and more sensitive person. I want to be a person who others feel comfortable talking with, including each of you.

Thank you for your support in my journey!

Love,

Mom