I read an article by Brooke Romney and though she is sharing thoughts for parents of middle school-aged children, I think the principles apply to all parents. She wrote:
A few years ago, as I watched my oldest walk up the hill toward junior high, it felt as if I were feeding him to the wolves. Gone were the insulated, comfortable days of elementary school, and my stomach was in knots, hoping he would return intact.
Middle schoolers leave the sunshine-and-rainbow discussions of elementary carpet circles and are thrust into exchanges about controversial current issues, difficult moments in history, sex and drugs. They listen to crass words in the halls and locker rooms, see ugly things being applauded and watch jerky people rise to the top. They are probably using most of their energy just to keep their heads above water. Know this, and let them open up about what they are seeing, hearing and feeling.
Though you have been organizing play dates, study groups, car pools and sports teams for their entire lives, suddenly you are expected to step way back an let them handle things, and you have to do that. The best thing you can do is encourage them to figure things out, help restore their confidence and let them grow.
There will be a new level of honesty between the two of you that will deepen your relationship and make you both better. You will find you have started enjoying the same activities, movies, books and food, so take advantage of those bounding moments and happy times. Help them find something they love. Celebrate their accomplishments. Get to know their friends. Look for the positive. Take time to enjoy watching them start to become the people they were meant to be.
(From an article in the Deseret News, August 23, 2017)
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