Me Thinks

 

I think this is a great book! How in the world do I narrow this post to a few quotes from the book? There are so many excellent points made by Dr. Levine.

America’s newly identified at-risk group is preteens and teens from affluent, well-educated families.  In spite of their economic and social advantages, they experience among the highest rates of depression, substance abuse, anxiety disorders, somatic complaints, and unhappiness of any group of children in this country (pg. 17).

Affluent kids are often so protected from even the most minor disappointments and frustrations that they are unable to develop critical coping skills (pg. 77).

The child who is constantly admired for a particular skill frequently becomes less interested in trying out new things. Children begin to play it safe and lose their willingness to experiment and challenge themselves (pg. 143).

Affluent parents, who are relatively free form the concerns of sustaining their household economically, have more psychological space; they can “afford” to spend more time worrying about their children’s performances and sizing up the competition. Higher-income families also typically have fewer children, giving parents more time to obsess about the details of each child’s life and to devote time, energy, and money to polishing their “star” qualities. In spite of good intentions, the levels of adult overinvolvement that have become typical in so many comfortable homes and communities are startling and counterproductive. We seem to believe that if involvement is good, then over-involvement must be better (pgs. 137,138).

Autonomy, what we commonly call independence, along with competence and interpersonal relationships, are considered to be inborn human needs (pg. 8).

Parents need to reinforce with their children the reality that it is not external things that help them to handle difficult feelings; rather, it is the development of internal resources that provide a safety net when they are struggling. Helping your child understand and manage her distressing feelings, and finding ways to cope with them, are life-long gifts (pg. 51). We want to avoid training our children to believe that it is external rewards that are responsible for personal happiness (pg. 53).

By allowing them to get occasionally bruised in childhood we are helping to make certain that they don’t get broken in adolescence. And allowing them their failures in adolescence, we are helping to lay the groundwork for success in adulthood (pg. 79).