Me Thinks

 

Seven months after we were married, Matthew's mother wrote us a letter.  Here is what she shared with the two of us:

 

With all the joy of finally sharing your lives totally day by day, it is still not unnatural to reach a time (usually within the first few months) when the realization of the total responsibilities press in so strongly that one is included to think, "Well, that's enough now--I'd like to go home to the security of mom and dad and my own familiar home and bedroom.  I'm too young to have to worry. How am I going to stretch our dollars far enough to pay the rent, buy the food, etc.?" Then you start to think, "This wasn't such a hot idea after all, but there really isn't any way out. " Sometimes the pressures and adjustments are so severe that even the mildest of dispositions and the deepest of love finds itself subject to irritability.  Then you remember the counsel, "Be patient with one another." And you understand why it was given. 

Those that succeed and remain happy do so because both parties were more concerned with what is right, than who is right.  More concerned with communicating effectively so that problems can be resolved, than with giving up. 

With as much as you two great people have going for you, you are bound to have more happiness than sorrow, more success than failure.  But to enjoy a happy marriage relationship will still take much effort--lots of patience and effective communication.  Let the Lord always be the "unseen guest at every  meal--the silent listener to every conversation." Let your words to each other be soft, never harsh.  Do not provoke to anger.

As you grow there will continue to be those things that may cause displeasure as your personalities mold towards a oneness.  Be wise enough to continue to love one another for those outstanding qualities you saw in each other while you were courting, and overlook and love each other in spite of those things you don't like about each other.  As you mature and strive to establish a happy home, you will try very hard to soften those things that are a source of hurt or irritation to the other.  Watch for signals that you are offending, but be careful also not to wear your feelings on your sleeve where you can be offended easily.  Realize that two people as sensitive and considerate as you two would not deliberately hurt one another, therefore it was a lack of awareness, unintentional, so talk about it using words of kindness.  Ask for consideration. See if you can't find a middle ground. 

I ran out of time before thought, but just as well end it here!

Love, Mom