No one really knows what is going on inside my head, just like I can't really know what is happening inside your head.
My outward motions are in line most of the time, but the thoughts in my head have to be continually controlled and tempered. I am convinced that the greatest fight in life that I will ever fight is the one inside my head.
Many feelings come as a natural result of happenings in life and I feel like instead of pushing the feelings aside I need to let them surface in my mind, deal with them, process them, talk myself through them, and then I can let them go. Other feelings are negative and should not be entertained or invited to stay for one minute. Many thoughts are kind and generous and ideas for personal improvement spring up often, but I have to temper these things or I wear myself out and feel guilty for not doing/being more. Some thoughts are petty and some are deep. Some are constructive and others not. I struggle with worrying about things I cannot control, letting go of details that are not important, dwelling on past mistakes, and sometimes fearing the future instead of having faith and optimism about it.
My mind is a motivator but also a whip. Sometimes I read and study so much about the gospel that I want to jump ahead and progress faster than I am able. I want to be a friend to myself like I am a friend to others.
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