Tuesday, August 25, 2015

These thoughts were a good reminder for me:

Helicopter parenting refers to over-involvement at a time when children should be making most of their own decisions and primarily managing their own lives.  It's parents stepping in and doing for the child that which the child should be doing for themselves.

The overall message is that being over-involved is not helpful for young adults, even if you have a great relationship with them.  That doesn't mean you shouldn't be warm and supportive.  By all means, stay available for your young adult children and involved in their lives in appropriate ways.  Just be careful not to be over-involved. (telling them where to live, what classes to take, or jumping in to solve problems with roommates)

All children need to be allowed some freedom to make choices, although it will look different at every age and the balance is different.  Clearly, a 3-year-old will have fewer choices and be subject to parental control, but a young adult should have a lot of autonomy, a low level of control and love will look different at that age.  Parents often don't realize they are hovering.  It boils down to verbs:  helping vs. doing.  Many parents simply take over. 
(Taken from a Deseret News Article, June 5, 2015 By Lois M. Collins)

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