Me Thinks

I have a parenting question that I have been thinking about.  I don't know that there is one correct answer, but I'm open to your opinion.  In parenting, some parents try to get their children to do things by encouraging them to the point of pushing them.  That is one extreme.  The other extreme is parents who are laid back, non-schedule oriented, and have a "no-pressure" style.  But, there are a lot of parents and styles within those two extremes.

I read two articles this week about "strong-to-the-point-of-pushing" parents.  One was a parent that had children involved in athletics, and one was a parent that had their child involved in music.  When I read about what the parents did to encourage the children, and what the children went through to become very good at what they did, I wondered about it.  I know that to become good at something you have to give it a lot of time and effort, but at what cost?  At the cost of ruining a relationship with a parent?  At the cost of building resentment?  At the cost of missing church activities or family events?  At the cost of becoming socially isolated?  But, on the other hand, if left on their own, will a child see their own potential?  Will they push themselves?  Will they volunteer, without being coaxed, to practice, develop a talent, or try something new?  It is a balance, isn't it?  Does this all depend on the age and personality of the child?

I want my children to:
not be bored
not be complacent
want to learn new things
master something(s)
set goals
do things that they don't feel like doing (like weeding, practicing, studying, etc.)
be self-starters
have a good relationship with me
be able to follow rules
figure things out
look ahead
work on something little by little
learn to break something big into smaller pieces
stretch
try to do something they think they cannot do

I want to encourage my children, but I don't want go too far pushing them.  I want to be firm and have high expectations but not be overbearing.  I want them to learn to be the drivers in their own lives, but I want to be supportive.  Some days, I think I am not pushing enough, and other days I feel like I need to back off.  Hmmmm...