This, then, is our goal as parents: we must not transfer power too early, even if our children take us daily to the battlefield. On the other hand, we must not retain parental power too long, either. Control will be torn be torn from our grasp if we refuse to surrender it voluntarily. The granting of self-determination should be matched stride for stride with the arrival of maturity, culminating with complete release during early adulthood (pg. 125).
Parents can, and must, train, shape, mold, correct, guide, punish, reward, instruct, warn, teach and love their kids during the formative years (pg. 202).
Children are infinitely complex and we cannot be perfect parents any more than we can be perfect human beings. The pressures of living are stressful and we get tired and irritated; we are influenced by our physical bodies and our emotions, which sometimes prevent us from saying the right things and being the model we should be. We don’t always handle our children as unemotionally as we wish we had, and it’s very common to look back a year or two later and see how wrong we were in the way we approached a problem. All of us experience these failures! That’s why each of us should get alone with the Creator of parents and children and say: “Lord, You know my inadequacies. You know my weaknesses, not only in parenting, but in every area of my life. I did the best I could, but it wasn’t good enough. Make up for the things I did wrong. Satisfy the needs that I have not satisfied. Wrap Your great arms around my children, and draw them close to You. And be there when they stand at the great crossroads between right and wrong. All I can give is my best, and I’ve done that. Therefore, I submit to You my children and myself and the job I did as a parent” (pg. 205).
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