I have been working on a few family history projects this week, and I came across an email I wrote to our two oldest children, one of whom was on a study abroad in London and the other was serving a mission in Uruguay, dated August 11, 2005:
When I was growing up, I stood in the shadow of my parents. They were and are both wonderful people and I loved being recognized as their daughter. I still have the privilege some times of being put together with them and basking in the light of their lives and names, but most of the time I am who I am, independent of them. Now fast forward to the present--who would have ever thought that I would enjoy an "increased identity" from my offspring? I am very proud to be one of your parents, to be identified as your mom, to bask in your lives and your light. It has been hard and it has been humbling to have you leave because I feel diminished in a way. I have come to figure out that that is how it is as a mom. But your leaving has been good for me because I have come to realize that you are not mine to begin with (you are the Lord's), your lives and your accomplishments are YOURS and not mine, and that my happiness and satisfaction in life must come by my own means. You will always be cherished and loved and cared about, you have no idea how deeply, but I must learn to be happy and fulfilled when you are not living here full time. Oh, it is hard for me to let go. I have enjoyed the journey so much! I have to remind myself that this was the goal that dad and I have been working on for your entire lives--that you grow up to be happy, responsible adults who want to fly and live life. My hope is that you can and will fly, without me holding on to your wings!
Beautiful!
ReplyDelete