Me Thinks

As I picked up this book and read while at my Dad's house, he took issue with the title.  He guessed that Dr. Brown was suggesting that we forgo goals and dreams and be satisfied with mediocrity.  That is not the message of this book. I would recommend the book as it was full of positive messages, although I like her book Daring Greatly even better.Here are a few great thoughts from this book:

Hope is not an emotion; it’s a way of thinking or a cognitive process.  Hope happens when we have the ability to set realistic goals, we are able to figure out how to achieve those goals, including the ability to stay flexible and develop alternative routes, and we believe in ourselves. (pg. 65)

Joy is as thorny and sharp as any of the dark emotions.  To love someone fiercely, to believe in something with your whole heart, to celebrate a fleeting moment in time, to fully engage in a life that doesn’t come with guarantees—these are risks that involve vulnerability and often pain. (pg. 73)

Somehow we’ve come to equate success with not needing anyone. (pg. 20)

 

Perfectionism is not the same thing as striving to be your best.  Perfectionism is not about healthy achievement and growth.  Perfectionism is the belief that if we live perfect, look perfect, and act perfect, we can minimize or avoid the pain of blame, judgment, and shame.  It’s a shield.  Perfectionism is not self-improvement.  Perfectionism is, at its core, about trying to earn approval and acceptance.  Please. Perform. Perfect.  I am what I accomplish.  Healthy striving is self-focused—How can I improve?  Perfectionism is other-focused—What will they think? Perfectionism hampers success.  It’s often the path to depression, anxiety, addiction, and life-paralysis.  Life-paralysis refers to all of the opportunities we miss because we’re too afraid to put anything out in the world that could be imperfect.  (pgs. 56, 57)