Tonight this blog post will act as my journal as my hard-copy journal is at home. I am writing from a room at the Orem Rehab center. I am spending the night with my brother and it is a pleasure and privilege to be here.
I am thinking back on the week and examining my feelings. I have shed tears of sorrow to see my brother suffer from the pains of cancer. Matthew has been kind as more than once I have cried myself to sleep. I have not felt anger. I have felt a desire to be close to God. I have felt great love and tenderness. I have felt hope and a renewed trust in God's plan. A few times tiny thoughts of doubt or wonder have crept in, but they have been blanketed quickly by positive and reassuring thoughts. I think it is probably normal for me to be experiencing a range of feelings at this time. It is heartbreaking and yet sacred to see a person you love approach the end of their mortal journey. There is a circle of love around him and I am relishing in the love.
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