My son-in-law recommended this book to me and I loved it. I re-read my favorite lines often, such as:
The passion for stretching yourself and sticking to it, even (or especially) when it's not going well, is the hallmark of the growth mindset. This is the mindset that allows people to thrive during some of the most challenging times of their lives.
Does this mean we can't praise our children enthusiastically when they do something great? Should we try to restrain our admiration for their successes? Not at all. It just means that we should keep away from a certain kind of praise--praise that judges their intelligence or talent, or praise that implies that we're proud of them for their intelligence or talent rather than for the work they put in. We can praise them as much as we want for the growth-oriented process--what they accomplished through practice, study, persistence, and good strategies.
One more thing about praise. When we say to children, "Wow, you did that so quickly?" or "Look, you didn't make any mistakes!" what message are we sending? We are telling them that what we prize are speed and perfection. Speed and perfection are the enemy of difficult learning.
Quoting John Wooden--"You have to apply yourself each day to becoming a little better. By applying yourself to the task of becoming a little better each and every day over a period of time, you will become a lot better.
The fixed mindset is so very tempting. It seems to promise children a lifetime of worth, success, and admiration just for sitting there and being who they are. That's why it can take a lot of work to make the growth mindset flourish where the fixed mindset has taken root.
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