Me Thinks

It is one thing to lose someone in your family who is over the age of 80, and it is entirely a different thing to lose someone in your family that is under the age of 50, a person who is still an "active" parent with children in the home, but that is what has happened to several families in our stake and we pray for those families every single day.

Emily Hedengren Lyman became a widow at the age of 34.  She wrote about grief recently:

Realize that grief isn't sadness.  It is something more primal, something more core to what it means to be human.  Respect that.  Honor grief.  Let the waves of it hit you knowing that you are still going to be there when the waves recede.  Grief isn't something that you choose.  It isn't something you talk yourself into or out of.  It is like gravity.  Let it happen.  You will be okay.

Now go ahead and feel sad.  Feel happy.  Feel everything.  You will be raw for a long time.  Get help when you need it. This isn't something you should do alone.

Self-pity is going to be a real option for you.  Don't take it.  

Self-pity is addictive and it doesn't lead anywhere good.  

Choose to be the hero.  This means you own your situation.  Own it.  Because once you take the horrifying step, you can now change your life.  You aren't an object to be acted upon.  You are the slayer of dragons.  

You are the hero of your amazing life.

It's going to get better.  Really and truly, it is going to get better.  You may not believe me right now, but it is.  Keep breathing.  Remember you have a million people dead and alive who are rooting for you.  You have astounding things left to do in your life.  Pick one and hold onto it through the next few months.  You are going to be okay even if you don't feel okay now.

(emphasis added by Emily)