Today at church the speakers talked about trusting the Lord. I have been thinking about the subject and I feel so deeply about it that I would like to write a few thoughts.
I went off to college with high aspirations and big dreams. A month in to my first semester I met Matthew and the course of my life changed. College became a second priority to marriage and family. (Now, in saying this about my life and my choices, I am not inferring that this should be everyone's choice, but it was right for me and I know it was what the Lord wanted.) Things that I had dreamed about were given up and I became a wife and mother. I trusted the Lord as I embarked on a different path than expected. My father asked me the other day if I had any regrets with the way that my life had turned out. I think that he was referring to those pivotal decisions that had pointed me toward "family life" and away from college/career/performing/money/or freedom, etc. I told him that I did not have ANY regrets. It was harder for me early on, but now that I see the fruits of my decision, I realize what great blessings the Lord has given me. Isn't it funny how some things seem like sacrifices at the time and then later when you look back you see that they were really choice blessings?
Second time of life I thought about today: When I was 26 years old, I was expecting my fourth child and Matthew was called as Bishop. He was busy at work and now would be busy with church (as he had been with past callings), but we trusted the Lord, said yes to the calling, and things worked out. Fast forward to a couple of years later. Our fifth pregnancy had just ended with a stillbirth which was not fun and not easy. We had rust carpet and no plan to replace it. Matthew was still busy with work and the calling as Bishop. Matthew was asked to perform a wedding of a couple. As I sat at the ceremony of this beautiful couple who had an elaborate wedding and reception and seemed very well set and happy, I thought about the law of the harvest. I am a bit ashamed to admit it, but I asked some questions to myself during the ceremony like, "If we are trying to do everything we should and keep the commandments and raise a family, then why did we just lose a baby and why are things tight financially and why are things sometimes hard? This couple is not living all of the commandments and they seem to be doing a lot better than us!" (I know, I know...I had some growing up to do. Silly me to think that if you are righteous then everything goes smoothly and money is abundant.) I came home from the ceremony, had a good cry in the garage before going back in the house, and made a commitment to still believe in the law of the harvest. I would continue on the path, continue trying my best, continue to trust the Lord. Sometimes it seems you have been working in the garden for months and months (or years and years) and there is no harvest, but there WILL be a rich harvest! You just have to keep working and keep believing. Keeping the commandments means having faith and trusting in the Lord. You must be able to walk on the straight and narrow path with the winds blowing and the people having a great time in the building off to the side, and you must be able to hang on tight to the rod and keep pressing forward. That is what it is all about.
The God of the universe is a kind and merciful God. He knows all things. He is powerful and majestic yet He is loving and considerate. We can trust Him because He sees the whole picture and we see only pieces. He has given us so much and we can show our love and devotion by being true to Him and following His will for us. The Lord has never let me down. I can completely count on him and trust Him.
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