"It has seemed to me that each year one should pause to take stock of himself, to ask: Where am I going? What am I becoming? What do I wish to do and become? Most people whom I encountered were without purpose, people who had given themselves no goal.  The first goal need not be the final one, for a sailing ship sails first by one wind, then another. the point is that it is always going somewhere, proceeding toward a final destination" (Louis L'Amour in The Walking Drum).

January has been a time of reflection for me. What do I want to have happen this year? I am busy and I am trying to do good things, but am I becoming what God wants me to be? Doing is different than becoming. A mission is good at softening one's heart, or should I say cracking it open. "God," I plead, "tell me how I can change and improve. Help me with this, and with this." I wonder sometimes if my rough spots really can be smoothed. Not on my own, that's for sure, but with the grace of Jesus Christ I can change.

 

Filling the Lamp 

by Rosemary Noble Palmer

A drop at a time.
One thought at at a time.
One good deed at a time.
One prayer, one smile.
One scripture memorized and applied in daily life.
One Church meeting attended, Spirit felt.
One time sticking up for the downtrodden.
One obedient act.
One honest friend made.
One day lived joyously.
One courageous choice.
One duty done well and promptly.
One chore finished without complaint or reminder.
One inspiring song heard, book read.
One mistake fixed.
One offense forgiven.
One grateful expression.
One kindness shown.
One recollection of divine worth that transforms.
One hug given.
Each drop of oil, small,
Together fill the lamp
Just one drop at a time.

 

I listened to Susan Porter's talk during the Christmas Devotional 2025, and I appreciated her message about feeling God's light no matter the life experience she was going through. 

She told about a memorable Christmas Eve when her husband was in the hospital fighting for his life after surgery. Their family fasted and prayed. Due to the alertness of a nurse in the hospital, Bruce Porter was diagnosed with a respiratory illness and treatment was provided. The darkness they experienced was replaced with light and hope and Bruce recovered.

Six years later on Christmas Eve, Susan's husband was again in the hospital. He received a diagnosis and the doctors had a plan, but Bruce was told by the Spirit that there was nothing the doctors could do to save his life. Two days later he passed peacefully away at home surrounded by his family.

"Although each Christmas Eve had a different outcome, each one is sacred to us. Were tears shed, deep sorrow felt, along with loss and loneliness? Yes! And did we feel the light of God's love? Yes! At what felt like the going down of our sun in our lives, He gave us light and understanding."

"During our lives, there will be times when the sun may go down on our hopes and dreams. But because Jesus Christ came to earth and rose on the third day triumphant over sin and death, there will be no permanent darkness at the going down of the sun."

"There will be no permanent darkness when our nights come."

 

George Rickford is a hero of mine. In 1969 he was taught the gospel of Jesus Christ. He prayed to God about the doctrines he had been taught, and "then I had a wonderful experience by way of a response. The word ‘faith’ was just spelled out letter by letter before my closed eyes and I heard myself respond to that. I just felt a glow inside and I heard myself say, ‘Yes, Lord, I will. I will take it in faith. And thank you, by the way, thank you.’”

Rickford wrote in 1975 that he accepted the priesthood ban “in faith, without any reservation” and expressed his belief that, whatever his own condition then, God was just. “I am just grateful that the Lord’s priesthood is once again upon the earth, with all its attendant blessings, authority, and responsibility. It matters less to me who has it and who hasn’t, but much more how it is utilised.”

On the day her received the news that the priesthood would now be extended to all worthy males, he and his wife June talked all through the night about what the news would mean for their family. The change was monumental. The next morning, George Rickford was ordained a priest in the Aaronic Priesthood. Two months later, he was ordained a Seventy, and two months after that, George and June Rickford were sealed in the London England Temple, along with their four children.

"I find it significant that when I asked my Heavenly Father in all earnestness, whether the Church was true, He didn't answer me either 'Yes, it's true,' or 'No, it isn't.' Instead He asked me to demonstrate my faith and trust in Him, and in His appointed messengers whom He had sent to give me the restored gospel. From that moment on, I decided to exercise more faith in spiritual matters than I had ever done before, and to leave it up to the Lord to guide me into His paths, because He knew that my heart was right and that I wanted only to find Him and to follow Him."

George remained resolute in his obedience through the years, both before he held the priesthood and afterwards. He exercised great faith in joining The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints and in waiting for promised blessings.

(https://history.churchofjesuschrist.org/content/pioneers-in-every-land/i-will-take-it-in-faith?lang=eng)

    

 

The funeral for President Jeffrey R. Holland was inspiring. I have thought deeply about what Mary Alice Holland McCann said at the conclusion of her remarks:

"Please permit me to say one thing to the grandchildren of Jeffrey R. and Patricia Holland, and by extension to every member of this church. While this is a very sad day for this family, there is only one thing that could make this day truly sad in any sort of an eternal way, and that would be for us to turn our backs on the gospel of Jesus Christ, to which your grandparents dedicated their lives. The only way we could break their hearts is to abandon the source of truth and light that they lived and died to show us. Now it is time for each of us to pick up their baton and to carry on the fire of faith that they flamed within each of us."

Books I read in 2025:

1. Listening and Caring Skills by John Savage (Helpful and informative. Many listening techniques were covered, most of which I agreed with).

2. Quiet: the Power of Introverts in a World That Can't Stop Talking (I read this book a few years ago for Book Club, but it was an assigned book for my chaplain class so I read it again. I enjoyed it more this time and learned from it. We are all a mixture of both introvert and extrovert. Come to know yourself and your nature and maximize your strengths. Understand that people have differences).

3. What You Feel You Can Heal: A Guide for Enriching Relationships by John Gray (I enjoyed this book and learned from it. I liked the drawings/cartoons too. The main theme is to express your feelings and emotions instead of repressing them).

4. Generation to Generation: Family Process in Church and Synagogue by Edwin H. Friedman (An assigned book for chaplain class and not my favorite. We carry with us issues from our original family settings and relationships).

5. Jesus is the Christ by Neil L. Andersen (I enjoyed reading Elder Andersen's thoughts about the Savior).

6. The Frozen River by Ariel Lawhon (Martha is a midwife and is a very important member of her community. What a story! I read this book while studying to become a chaplain and was fascinated with her medical and listening skills).

7. Spark Joy by Marie Kondo (A book on tidying and sorting and how those skills can lead to better self-esteem and control).

8. The Many Lives of Mama Love by Lara Love Hardin (Wow! An amazing story and a lot to take in. Here's a warning about the language, drug content and jail time. Lara pulled herself out of drugs which is so difficult to do).

9. Forty Autumns: A Family's Story of Courage and Survival on Both Sides of the Berlin Wall by Nina Willner (I found this book fascinating because it told of a family torn apart by a forty-year enclosure of East Germany).

10.Nothing More to Give: From Transactional Obedience to Transformational Relationships by James Skeen (This book led me to ponder on why I obey. The Savior's grace is paramount).

11. The Milkman's Son by Randy Lindsay (A man is surprised after taking a DNA test to find out that the father he grew up with is not his biological father).

12. The Tenderness of Jesus: An Invitation to Experience the Savior by Dr. Rob Reimer (Dr. Reimer exhorts us to develop a personal relationship with Jesus Christ).

13. A Brilliant Night of Stars and Ice by Rebecca Connolly (I really enjoyed this historical fiction. I did not know the story about Captain Arthur Rostron and how he guided his ship Carpathia through ice to come to the rescue of the Titanic passengers who were on lifeboats, even though there two other ships that were closer in proximity to the Titanic). 

14. A River Runs Through it and Other Stories by Norman Maclean (A patient I visit was a college language professor for many years. When I asked her to recommend a favorite book, she invited me to read this. Though I enjoyed the writing in A River Runs Through it, I did not care for the other stories).

15. Death is But a Dream: Finding Hope and Meaning at Life’s End by Christopher Kerr (People who are nearing death often see departed, beloved friends and family members, or they sense their presence, and this is a comfort to not only the dying, but also to their family members).

16. The Book of Comforts: Genuine Encouragement for Hard Times by Faires, Faires, Wernet, and Wilder (Each message starts with a scripture and then the authors expound on the scriptures).

17. In the Hands of the Potter by Camille Fronk (Thoughts about being humble, how the Lord molds us, faith and spiritual self-reliance).

18. The Doctrine & Covenants (This was an excellent book for me to read this year because there are so many people in early church history who sacrificed, and they are examples to me).

19. The Doctrine & Covenants Study Guide: Start to Finish by Thomas R. Valletta (An excellent book! The quotes and commentary which go with the sections of the Doctrine & Covenants are insightful).

20. The Book of Mormon (I love this book! Truth is clearly taught and light flows into my life when I read it).

21. The Book of Mormon Study Guide: Start to Finish by Thomas R. Valletta (I learned from the commentary and accompanying quotes next to the Book of Mormon passages. I would recommend this study guide).

22. Preach My Gospel (What a great book! I learned so much from this).

This song is absolutely heavenly! I love it.

Where shepherds lately knelt and kept the angel's word,

I come in half-belief, a pilgrim strangely stirred;

But there is room and welcome there for me,

But there is room and welcome there for me.

In that unlikely place I find him as they said:

Sweet newborn Babe, how frail! And in a manger bed:

A still, small voice to cry one day for me,

A still, small voice to cry one day for me.

How should I not have known Isaiah would be there,

His prophecies fulfilled? With pounding heart I stare:

A child, a son, the Prince of Peace for me,

A child, a son, the Prince of Peace for me.

Can I, will I forget how Love was born, and burned

It's way into my heart--unasked, unforced, unearned,

To die, to live, and not alone for me,

To die, to live, and not alone for me.

 

I admire the compassion this man displayed for the woman he met at the gas station. I want to be one who the Lord can count on to reach out to someone He puts in my path.

 

 

I see dozens and dozens of whitening products at every store I step in here. It is sickening and sad. Last night I was at a pharmacy picking out a gift for a friend, and I had a hard time finding a product that did not have some kind of whitening label on it. There are billboards with pictures of women who have light skin around town and it makes me angry. Why are white skinned women perceived as more beautiful? I know there are long-held cultural beliefs that mixed race is beneficial, and colored skin represents working under the sun, but I wish there was a way to reinforce, especially to young women that the women of the Philippines are gorgeous and they need not change to become what they think they want to look like. The teens watch American movies and idolize American stars. They are bombarded with ads and products and are led to believe that to be attractive they need to have lighter skin. Not true.

What I learned from Elder Jackson and his wife Ann:

Enthusiasm is contagious! They came to visit our mission and it was evident that they were excited about missionary work, and the excitement was catching.

They were ideal house guests in that they would help themselves to food, as I had invited them to do. I needed to leave early each morning to get things set up and they were on their own for breakfasts, but they got out what they needed.

They showed genuine interest in each missionary. They spent an hour each day greeting and visiting with every single missionary.

They showed support of Matthew and I and our ideas and inspiration.

What marvelous stories and life experiences they shared!

They taught gospel truths along with specific tools which would help the missionaries.

They have a broad knowledge of people and customs, having lived all over the world.

They are committed to the gospel of Jesus Christ and desire to serve the Savior all of their days.